Life, craziness & celebration...

It's been a rollercoaster for the past few weeks but I'm back! Life has really got me down & I need a new hobby. In the meantime I'll keep blogging 😊

Whilst I was going through the craziness of life filled with mental health issues I managed to graduate from university at the end of last month! ❤

Alhumdulilah I have officially completed my BA Education Studies degree today!! It feels surreal, but after so many obstacles I've finally reached the finish line. It's been a crazy rollercoaster over the last four years & I've been through many ups & downs. But I kept going. Looking back I'm glad because I'm extremely proud of all that I've achieved over the last four years ❤❤

My sincere thank you goes to all the professors I had pleasure of meeting & working with. My amazing friends & family who supported me with encouragement over the years!! ❤❤

Alhumdulilah! My dissertation project is completed!! ❤❤

When I chose to do dissertation I was dreading it thinking it'll be too long (it was). But I enjoyed every minute of it. Attending the workshops, meetings with my supervisor & collaborating ideas with other student. It was a fun & life changing experience. 

Not saying it was easy, definitely not but that's ok, I preferred the challenge & loved working on a topic that I'm passionate about ❤

Thank you to my supervisor, other professors, family & friends for your unbelievable support & encouragement throughout the whole experience! ❤❤

Gosh, even after nearly month of submitting everything & finishing university as an undergraduate it still hasn't dawned on me...Maybe writing is what I need 🤔

Not promising regular entries, but from now on I'll post when I can! 😃

New year, New start...Sort of

Back! 

Apologies for the silence but since New year's day I've been feeling rubbish & not in the mood to do anything. Think my mental & emotional state started to impact me physically & I've been drifting, not the best feeling 😭

Thankfully during the craziness I managed to officially submit 3 final assignments & looking back I'm relieved. They weren't easy to do, despite the reduced word count, but I still completed them to the best of my ability. I'm proud of my work 😊😊

Now I'm aiming to smash my dissertation 😀

The photo of the recent book I've finished today which oddly enough took me a month to read 😂

Been a while!

Since last post I was dealing with a quite a lot & mentally was all over the place...So I needed some time for myself 

Also working on various assignments at once kept me occupied! 3 done, 1 to go. Dissertation, the big one I call it! 

I will be posting as normal from today ! 

Never Quit!

A busy week, but that's how I like!! Filled with appointments & assignments. Finished my essay & read an incredible book 😊

Daily Motivation 

Looking back there have been so many times I wanted to quit, many times I wanted to give up on everything. During those moments I couldn't see a way out or a brighter future. I've stumbled, fell flat on face, been through dark moments. Yet, I still carried on through everything. I didn't & never will quit. I stumble but I get back up & I know whatever happened yesterday no longer matter because today is another day so I'll get back on track & move closer to my dreams & goals. I know that despite everything, the good & bad, the horrible times & through my darkest days I can do it! Every time I stumble I'll get back up stronger than before! ❤

Never quit, no matter how bad it gets. You may stumble, get back up & carry on. You can do it! ❤

Smile

I'm back! So sorry for the long unexpected break but I was going personal stuff. Since my last update I've been productive with my research report which is a nightmare to write because despite doing essays for a long time now, I dislike literature review. It's long & frustrating! OK, ok...Apologies for my rant, have a lot going on lately & I've come to a conclusion that lockdown is not helping my mental health...😔

Daily Motivation 

Smile! Its beautiful & brightens my day. I'm always smiling. Every day, no matter what I'm doing or how bad things are. For me there's a always a reason to smile, I just have to find it & I usually do. By doing what I love & being around those whom I love. My smile gets me through even the toughest of times & I always hold onto one reason; bad times don't last forever, better days are around the corner! I'll carry on smiling 😊❤

Smile! Spread happiness & joy. Smile even without any reason! Be happy 😊 ❤

Blessing

 

There's always a line between jokes & insults. I love joking around & teasing. But I despise insults. Ah, well...Ignoring such insults is best option! Apart from that, it's been one of the slowest days (although Sundays are always slow). One thing is for sure, I need to stop focusing on word counts for my assignments & just go with the flow! 

Daily Motivation

Life is often a roller. One minute everything is ok, the next chaos. Many times I've wanted to give up, many times I've said 'I've had enough'. Despite all the bad times, all the obstacles & struggles. I'm still thankful for everyday, every opportunity. I know that life can often throw so much at me that I find it difficult to get through it all but no matter what I'm going through, no matter how tough it gets I have trained myself to find the blessing in everything! I'm blessed to live the life that I am. I wake up everyday grateful to have another chance to do something new. I'm blessed to have a wonderful family & phenomenal friends. I'm blessed to have every opportunity I'm given to excel. I'm so so blessed in every way! 💜😊

Life can throw so much at you, you can be going through struggles. But you must find blessing in everything. Do that & you'll feel happier 

Reflection

 

Weekend's were usually filled with shopping. I miss that. I miss going out without being afraid. Gosh, I don't remember the last I felt like that...In the meantime, I made a somewhat productive start to my assignments, decided to work on two essays at once (not sure whether that's smart). As much I love my degree, choosing topics is still difficult & after 4 years I still dislike research 😂 

Daily Motivation

Whenever I'm alone, I reflect on my past a lot! More than I should actually. Which is not all bad because despite everything I've been through I do have some wonderful memories that I will cherish forever. Meeting my first best friend, completing secondary school. The craziness of 4 years at college, the awards & achievements. All those, I'll always look back on with pride. On the flip side, there are many reasons why I should stop reflecting on my past, the main one being I cannot turn back time to correct all the mistakes or erase all the trauma. Everything I've been through since I was child is a part of who I am. The good & the bad. My past has made me resilient & strong. I learned to speak out whenever I feel something isn't right & most importantly allowed myself to thrive without focusing on the bad times because when looking back didn't interest me. I knew I was doing something right. I was thriving, becoming confident & allowing myself to seen as me & not as someone who is disabled (I've been viewed as disabled for as long as I can remember). My past will always be with me, but I choose to focus on the future! 💜

Never forget your past, but stop looking back because you're not there anymore. Focus on your future! 

Patience

Finding that determination to work on assignments since the lockdown has been difficult to say the least. Let's see how I do in the next few weeks...

Daily Motivation 

I thought my patience was tested over the last few years since my 3rd year at college. Since the time I had to deal with health challenges as well as academic life. Balancing the two has never been easy, but eventually I found a rhythm. However this year was a massive challenge in itself with the lockdown, health issues & trying to finish my degree. I may be a patient person as over the years I had learn to be patient (not easy!). But my patience continues to be tested since the beginning of this pandemic & what got me through the whole ordeal is that patience is not the ability to wait but how I act while I'm waiting! I adapted a new routine, gave myself a chance to focus on my health & explore my mental health issues further. Read from my booklist & just keep myself busy, to not dwell on the negatives. I learned to be patient, to just breathe! 

Life is chaotic, now more than ever. Remember to breathe. Take a moment for yourself & just be patient! Better days are coming 🙂