New year, New start...Sort of

Back! 

Apologies for the silence but since New year's day I've been feeling rubbish & not in the mood to do anything. Think my mental & emotional state started to impact me physically & I've been drifting, not the best feeling 😭

Thankfully during the craziness I managed to officially submit 3 final assignments & looking back I'm relieved. They weren't easy to do, despite the reduced word count, but I still completed them to the best of my ability. I'm proud of my work 😊😊

Now I'm aiming to smash my dissertation 😀

The photo of the recent book I've finished today which oddly enough took me a month to read 😂

Been a while!

Since last post I was dealing with a quite a lot & mentally was all over the place...So I needed some time for myself 

Also working on various assignments at once kept me occupied! 3 done, 1 to go. Dissertation, the big one I call it! 

I will be posting as normal from today ! 

Smile

I'm back! So sorry for the long unexpected break but I was going personal stuff. Since my last update I've been productive with my research report which is a nightmare to write because despite doing essays for a long time now, I dislike literature review. It's long & frustrating! OK, ok...Apologies for my rant, have a lot going on lately & I've come to a conclusion that lockdown is not helping my mental health...😔

Daily Motivation 

Smile! Its beautiful & brightens my day. I'm always smiling. Every day, no matter what I'm doing or how bad things are. For me there's a always a reason to smile, I just have to find it & I usually do. By doing what I love & being around those whom I love. My smile gets me through even the toughest of times & I always hold onto one reason; bad times don't last forever, better days are around the corner! I'll carry on smiling 😊❤

Smile! Spread happiness & joy. Smile even without any reason! Be happy 😊 ❤

Reflection

 

Weekend's were usually filled with shopping. I miss that. I miss going out without being afraid. Gosh, I don't remember the last I felt like that...In the meantime, I made a somewhat productive start to my assignments, decided to work on two essays at once (not sure whether that's smart). As much I love my degree, choosing topics is still difficult & after 4 years I still dislike research 😂 

Daily Motivation

Whenever I'm alone, I reflect on my past a lot! More than I should actually. Which is not all bad because despite everything I've been through I do have some wonderful memories that I will cherish forever. Meeting my first best friend, completing secondary school. The craziness of 4 years at college, the awards & achievements. All those, I'll always look back on with pride. On the flip side, there are many reasons why I should stop reflecting on my past, the main one being I cannot turn back time to correct all the mistakes or erase all the trauma. Everything I've been through since I was child is a part of who I am. The good & the bad. My past has made me resilient & strong. I learned to speak out whenever I feel something isn't right & most importantly allowed myself to thrive without focusing on the bad times because when looking back didn't interest me. I knew I was doing something right. I was thriving, becoming confident & allowing myself to seen as me & not as someone who is disabled (I've been viewed as disabled for as long as I can remember). My past will always be with me, but I choose to focus on the future! 💜

Never forget your past, but stop looking back because you're not there anymore. Focus on your future! 

Patience

Finding that determination to work on assignments since the lockdown has been difficult to say the least. Let's see how I do in the next few weeks...

Daily Motivation 

I thought my patience was tested over the last few years since my 3rd year at college. Since the time I had to deal with health challenges as well as academic life. Balancing the two has never been easy, but eventually I found a rhythm. However this year was a massive challenge in itself with the lockdown, health issues & trying to finish my degree. I may be a patient person as over the years I had learn to be patient (not easy!). But my patience continues to be tested since the beginning of this pandemic & what got me through the whole ordeal is that patience is not the ability to wait but how I act while I'm waiting! I adapted a new routine, gave myself a chance to focus on my health & explore my mental health issues further. Read from my booklist & just keep myself busy, to not dwell on the negatives. I learned to be patient, to just breathe! 

Life is chaotic, now more than ever. Remember to breathe. Take a moment for yourself & just be patient! Better days are coming 🙂