Literacy Life....

Once you learn to read, you will be forever free

Currently reading this amazing book! Loving it so far 

Sometimes I wish I owned a library, but hey... This is close enough 

This is often how I am whilst working on academic stuff...Often I end up multi-tasking because of numerous distractions 

I usually prefer reading a book & highlighting key info helps me remember it!! 

My book collection & yes I do read them!! 

My academic collection...It's fascinating to read some of these books

Blogging online is new experience for me & I find it intriguing

  

I loose count of how many times a year I visit hospitals, signs like these I have memorised  

World Teachers' Day 2019

A teacher is one who helps others & influences lives forever... 

Everyone has a hero or an inspirational figure, for me; that's my teachers. Every teacher I've met since I've been in education have influenced me in impossible ways & shaped me into who I am today

As a child I wanted to be a teacher. And, growing up I've seen the work they do, met amazing, hard-working, inspirational teachers who in my book are phenomenal!!

Since the start of secondary school every teacher I met, I had high respect for & yh often I got asked why (still it happens!) Simply because over time I realised teacher's went above & beyond to inspire their students, I was one them. As someone with SEN & learning difficulties I always admired & was super grateful for the support I was given. 

I've just started my final year at UCL & looking back, not in a million years did I ever imagined to be where I am today... My sincere gratitude goes out to all the teachers who not only believed in me, but also pushed me out my comfort zone, gave me opportunities to discover more about myself & create an identity for myself. My time in education would never have been the same if it wasn't for the incredible, inspiring teachers I've met along the way, because of each of them I got to where I am today

On #WorldTeachersDay I'd like to give a massive shout out & say a massive massive thank you to the teachers who have shaped my life.

From secondary school till now at university, I have met amazing & inspirational teachers who continue to inspire, guide & teach me life-lessons I'll never forget

Thank you all for believing in me & pushing me to work beyond my capabilities

Thank you for guiding me when I felt lost

Thank you for your constant & continuous support

Happy #WorldTeachersDay !!

Books books & more books!

Books give me an escape from reality, even if it's only for a few minutes...

Since I was child books were my friends. From an early I used to love looking at pictures in kids' books & as I grew older, so did my love for reading. It's no secret that I'm a slow reader, but nonetheless I am as passionate about reading as I am about food, if not more 😀 

Over the books have helped me in ways that unimaginable & since I was at secondary school reading has given me hope, laughter & is a massive massive distraction from everything I face

Often people find reading boring or pointless (unless it's neccessary for them to read for an assignment), but I find it relaxing & calm 😊

Fav authors:

I honestly would read a good & interesting book by any author, BUT! My top three authors are;

J.K.Rowling (Harry Potter & Fantastic Beasts)

Jacqueline Wilson (Tracy Beaker & others) 

Elisabeth Sladen (Autobiography) 

Genres 

Fiction: Childrens, teenage/young adult, sci-fi & fantasy 

Non-Fiction: Autobiography, biography , education, Special Education Needs & Disability

My book collection keeps getting bigger & bigger! I know....I would love to have a whole library, it'd be so AWESOME!! 😁😁

''You can't buy happiness, but you can buy books & that's kind of the same thing" 

REMEMBER!! 

• You can read anywhere at anytime! 

• Read whatever you like, from newspapers, magazines to amazing books! 

• Go visit school or local libraries for inspiration...If not, go to a book store 

"I do believe something very magical can happen when you open a book" -J.K.Rowling

"We loose ourselves in books & we find ourselves there too"

"Books are the most loyal & trusted friends you can have" 

"These books are my friends, my companions. They make me laugh & cry & find meaning in life" 

This Is Me...

I'm not perfect... But I'm always myself

Don't judge me, you can't handle half of what I've dealt with. 

There's a reason I do the things I do, there's a reason 

I am who I am

Over the years I have been bullied, judged & discriminated by many people.... But I never thought I'd recieve the same treatment from those close to me. I try everyday, I try to be perfect, to be normal, to be what everyone else expects me to be....However, I can't change who I am. I know I'm far from perfect, but I'm myself & that for me is enough

Since September 2017, I had to deal with a lot, more so than usual. Continuous hospital visits & three hospital admissions in six months. I thought after May 2018 things will get better... I was so wrong

My health in general has had a massive impact on my daily life, from repeating my second year again at university to struggling everything at once. Since I began this academic year, it's been difficult... Honestly, it feels like everyday I'm fighting a new battle. From chasing up hospital referrals/appointments to trying to manage my studies. 

Living a life which is currently a continous struggle, I have good day & bad. Each day I wake up with  a new goal, but sometimes it all comes crashing down. I never know when my health gets better or worse. Before at least I had some idea, now I don't 

Emotionally & mentally I'm strugglng because at times I overthink a situation, I find myself feeling depressed, frustrated & mad at people. Sometimes all I want to is scream & shout, but instead I keep it together & smile because I know eventually I'll get through it

My message for people is this: 

I am not perfct, but I'm myself... I don't want a constant reminder of things & the past that I cannot change. I don't want to rise to your expections because I never will...So, instead of the continous judgements...Just love me for who I am. I can be funny & cheeky, I'm a happy go person who smiles a lot because I learnt because sad & upset gets you nowhere. I may not act my age at times or you
may think I'm immature but that's fine with me because I won't change myself just for you. I love to read. Books are my happy place, my escape. I may not be update to or like current trends but that's just fine with me. I don't wear make up neither am I super girly girl & that's cool with me. My dress sense may look funny to people, but I don't care. I love movies & stories that may seem childish, so what...? It doesn't matter. 

Finally....

To everyone going through any struggles or pain right now. Keep your head up & keep on smiling, you'll get through it

AND REMEMBER....

Smile, laugh & be happy. Even if you're going through really tough times. Just smile. Smile so bright

that you brighten someone's day & laugh so hard that you leave everyone wondering how keep

getting through it all!!! 😊😊

Give up or Keep going?

Sometimes I feel like giving up 

But I just can't

It isn't in blood 

There isn't one person that hasn't faced obstacles or hasn't been in situations where they wanted to give up... Let me tell you, in life you'll meet people who are facing challenges that nobody knows about & I'm no different

Some people may call me stubborn or crazy, because there have been times when I've been asked 'how comes you haven't given up after everything?' or 'how do you keep going?' My only response that no matter how times I've wanted to give up because it was an easier option, it just isn't me...For me, giving up is like letting go everything I've done or achieved 

I have lost count how times I've came close to giving up, yet something keeps me going...Wanna know what? My family, friends & people who believe in me when I lose belief in myself

Most importantly, I want to prove to myself & those who think I can't achieve anything wrong...I have kept going & overcoming a number of struggles, challening obstacles & at times I felt like life is pulling me backwards...But still I keep going !

Giving up is easy, but holding on during the hardest times in life is so much more difficult 

Remember!

- You are not alone! Keep going, at the end of the day it'll be worth it

- Never let anyone tell you what you can or can't do

- BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

😃😃

Been a while!

       A crazy ride....

A warm hello to all my readers! 

I'm back! Since my birthday post, a lot has happened & it feels like the last few months I've been on a rollercoaster ride 😛

See it all started with my health getting worse to point where I spent two weeks in hospital & since I got discharged I've been going for a lot of outpatient appointments (I'm offically exhausted from hospital visits)

Along with that I have also been dealing with mental health issues & emotionally last few months I've been a mess 

Aside from all that I'm also juggling university work. I had a lot of outstanding assignments & I have an exam in two weeks 😱

I'm managing my work a lot better than last year & I am so closed to completing my summer assignments.... 

See, I'm on a crazy ride... 😀

Buuuut, I'm back now & I'll be updating regularly 😆😆

Birthday Post (23)

Happy 23rd Birthday To Me!! 🎂

Whaaat! 23!? Where has the time gone!?

Honestly, this year has been a crazy rollercoaster ride & it feels like this ride started the day I was born. Every year I end up in hospital or get to a stage where my health get's pretty bad. Which did happen sadly right after my 22nd birthday...

April 30th 2018: I was back at Whipps Cross hospital this time with more than one diagnoses, but the first week I was fighting a sepsis infection (made a fully recovery) & the week second was just a nightmare

& I was so happy when they discharged 😂

The rest of the summer I spent still in agony & unfortuntely because I was in hospital at the times of examination period i missed my Policy exam & unless I was planning to end up in hospital again I chose to repeat my 2nd year again (boring)

October 2018: i really had a horrific first term at university, even though I was repeating my...The days just felt longer & I was still not recovering fully. In all honestly by December I had lost all hope & was ready to drop out because it got too much for me.

January 2019: Start of new year, new goals & dreams... In my case it was re-thinking previous decisions. This is when I realised I wasn't alone. My friends were my support & I have to give them a shoutout because they pulled me out of my dark depressed state. Luckily i didn't drop out! I continued with uni & I have to say my second term was as boring as my first...Well, apart from the two new modules I selected 😆

From February till March it was pretty much the same, I was getting better, recovering...But, by now 
I've learnt a major lesson. My health is unpredictable

At the end of March till now my health has been getting worse & worse, which yes has again impacted my studies. Missed my exam yet again & guess what? I'm back to chasing doctors (yay)Despite everything & yes I mean everything. I am blessed, I am happy & grateful for the life I have. I know it isn't easy, it never has been & I doubt it ever will be especially if I'm living with lifelong complex medical conditions

I have my family by side through everything & they are my rock

My friends are light in the dark, they're my voice of hope & each of them pull of out of my dark state of depression

People think I'm weird, that I should act according to my age & be mature (which I am)But I believe age is just a number I love myself & the way I amDon't judge me until you know me I am a dreamer & a believer I am a book nerd I love Harry Potter & J.K. Rowling's Wizarding world (it's part of my teen years & I'm relieving my childhood through the stories)i love cuddly toys (so what!?) I love Doctor who & The Sarah Jane Adventures I may act 'childish' but I really don't care. I'm not living my life to impress anyoneMy life at times feels chaotic. The things I like give me freedom & make me happy. I am happy & free being myself....

Education...!

Education, education, education...

Education has been a massive part of my life, despite everything I have faced & continue to face. 

As someone from another country with English as a second langauage I certainly struggled to fit in school life, but that didn't stop me from progressing further to where I am today & for that I am proud of myself.

Primary School
Starting primary school is one thing, but then having to start in year 5 was another & it was definite struggle for me, I found it diffcult to fit in, ask for help or make friends due to language barriers. In all honestly my primary school experience was the worst & I hated it. 

Due to having a terrible primary school experience, I was certainly terrified when starting secondary school for many reasons...


Secondary school
Starting secondary school is terrifying for anyone, but for me that fear esclated pretty quickly. Firstly because I had experienced rejection once & was afraid it could happen again. Secondly, I wasn't fluent in English & was still learning so I nervous about being around people...But I think my main fear was being judged & bullied (which sadly did happen). 

I started Kelmscott School in 2007 & left in 2012. Throughout the five years I certainly faced obstacles. Bullying, discrimination, judgmental remarks & so on. In all honesty there were numerous times when I wanted to quit school because I didn't see a point, yet at the same time I didn't want to leave...What do you do when you're stuck between two choices???

However, despite being a victim of bullying & judgments for reasons I never understood till after I left school, I do have many cherised memories from my time at school. 

I admit I wasn't a perfect student, I mean despite never having a detention or having 100% punctuality, I did have poor attendence during my my first few years at school & even though I worked as hard as everyone else I was never above my targeted grades (OK. Maybe, sometimes). 

Whilst I love learning & doing my best. I was also trying to fit in & since I had a bad experience of making friends at primary school I closed myself off from trying at secondary...It's no secret that I spent most of my free time in the library but at the same time that made me feel sad & left out... I wanted friends, but I struggled with that... Instead I found myself more comfortable in the company of adults, I think part of me just wanted someone to talk to rather than being by myself all the time

As the years went by, I noticed a classmate in my form who was the only person that didn't bully (or rather hate me as I used to think) & towards the end of year 9 I finally got the courage to talk to her...Honestly, I'm glad I did because now after all these years she's my best friend, my sister... She's my first ever best friend & never has she ever judged me, but accepted me for I am 💕

I sitll loved my time at Kelmscott because it made me who I am today, I developed as a person & at the end of year 11 I realised a lot... I Changed, I didn't let those bullies win, I overcame my fears of being different & I accepted myself as who I am & knowing that I spent five year of being bullied, judged as well as having two operations during all that made me even me stronger & determained to carry on with my education.

College

Who would have thought I would spend 4 years at college doing the same course!? Obviously, not me 😂 
Okay... I started Leyton Sixth Form College in 2012 enrolling on Level 1 BTEC Health & Social Care, leaving in 2016 with astonishing grades & unforgettable memories. 

Admittedly my college experience was miles better than my experience at Kelmscott & I despite the many more obstacles I faced in college which this time around had nothing to do with bullying or anything like that... The obstacles at college were more because of self doubt/confidence... 

Yes, throughout the four years I developed a lot as person, I was more outgoing, came out my shel, voiced my opinions (sometimes) l & I contributed a lot to activities outside my academic studies. I 
met great people throughout the years & some which I am proud to call my best friends...

But at the same time I was struggling. I was struggling to understand my medical conditions because during my first two year at college I began questioning the doctors at every appointment I went to & I think that just put on edge when I was in my 3rd year because it was a horrible year for me where I focused on my studies & ignored the fact my health was getting worse (NEVER DO THAT!!!) It was the worst mistake I ever made, but it opened my eyes. I realised that education will always be there...I could study at any point in my life... That's when I began to prioritise my health above everything else...

My last year at college almost never happened because I wanted to quit (history repeats itself), I was too scared to go back...But, I am so so glad that I went back for my final year because I learnt an important lesson: 
My medical conditons are lifelong & there will be times when my studies will be distrupted, there will be times when I'll fall on my face but no matter how many times I fall I will ALWAYS get back up! I am not alone, I won't let my conditions control my life & define me...

I absolutely loved my time at college, I had many laughs, many joyful moments & I wouldn't change those times for anything because they made me a better person 

                                                                       


University
Never...Never in a million years did I ever thing I'd be at university... The thought never crossed my mind during my years at school, I think it was something I started thinking about whilst in my last two years at college

Applying to five universities is one thing, but getting conditional offers is another...I had a lot of self doubt during the process & never thought I'd 1 conditional offer let alone 5!!? 😱 Now that was phenomenal moment & totally unbelieveable 😁
Yet, getting into University College London was the biggest suprise of all, totally unexpected but absolutely amazing!! 
Studying BA Education Studies at one the global universities is a dream come true & I am having a blast! 😀😀
Won't lie! The last few years have been tough, again facing obstacles both personally & academically, but this experience is nothing other than a total blast! 

All in all, education has been a huge huge part of my life & regardless of what I face I will never stop learning...
Here's my lesson to YOU!
Never stop reaching for your goals, never let anything get in the way of your dreams! Go out there & do something amazing today & always be proud of yourself!
😃😃

New year, new stories..

Writing helps... But so does talking...

Over the years I have faced a number of challenges, some of which have made me stronger & some which have taught me a lesson. 

When I younger I used to think many people had similar experiences as me or know how to be in my position, but as I grew up I quickly realised that was nowhere near the truth... There's this wonderful quote that I associate with; 'before you judge me, step into my shoes and walk the life I'm living and if you get as far as I am, just maybe you will see how strong I really am.' Everyone has something they're dealing with, no one has a perfect life but I guess some people are good at hiding that... I used to be that person and I guess I still am. 

Yet, that is not who I want to be, I want to speak out, raise my voice & say exactly how I am feeling or what I'm dealing with... But exactly how do I do that? I get asked often how do I carry on whilst going through so much, my only answer; I don't let my medical conditons control my life... Or at least that used to be my answer, now I'm not sure. 

I want to start sharing my story on here, writting helps me a lot! I find it easier to write down everything I'm going through/feeling rather than talking, Sometimes I am able to do both, but mostly writting is my passion & I want to share my experience of everything I have

gone/been going through, in hopes that it helps someone out there! 😊

Book Review: In Conclusion, don't worry about it - Lauren Graham

In Conclusion, don't worry about it by Lauren Graham 

Summary

"If you're kicking yourself for not having accomplished all you should have by now, don't worry about it. Even without any 'big' accomplishments yet to your name, you are enough." 

In this expansion of the 2017 commencement speech she gave at her hometown Langley High. Lauren Graham, the beloved star of Gilmore Girls & parenthood reflects on growing up, pursuing your dreams, and living in the here and now. "Whatever path you choose, whatever career you decide to go afer, the important thing is that you keep finding joy in what you're doing, especially when the joy isn't find you" 

In her hilarious, relatable voice, Graham reminds us to be curious and compassionate, no  matter where life takes us or what we've yet to achieve. Grounded  & inspiring -  and illustrated throughout with drawings by Graham herself 0 here is a comforting road map to a happy life...

Reflection 

This was one the best books I have read in a while! Graham wit & inspirational stories is what I needed over the last few months. As a university student facing many struggles in life Graham's words are my comfort & a lot of what she shares has stuck with me. Few of my favourite quotes from her are; 

"If you're kicking yourself for not having accomplished all you should have by now, don't worry about it. Even without any 'big' accomplishments yet to your name, you are enough." 

"Whatever path you choose, whatever career you decide to go afer, the important thing is that you keep finding joy in what you're doing, especially when the joy isn't find you"

              In conclusion, don't worry about it. You already have the most. And you're already one of the best 

 Graham writes from experience which I find fascinating because each word draws me in. This book is more than just a story, it's a guide for me & I absolutely recommend it!